Month: May 2020

TCBO1

Well it is that time again, you know the time to begin to think about voting. After a long time sitting on the sidelines I think it is finally time for me to put my hat in the ring. So today I officially announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America. I know I am excited to, but in doing this I will need a staff of people to assist me in my Campaign. Sergeant Fluffy Town is already on board as is Mac, so off to a good start. Mac suggested that we come up with a slogan that people can unite behind. I guess that is a good idea, so me and Sergeant Fluffy Town began to work. We stayed up strategizing the reach-ability, the ease of speech, the simplest way to bring a maximum message. In the end I think we came up with an amazing slogan, something that really speaks to the people. What is that slogan you ask? “There Can be Only One” I am sure you see how amazing this is. 

Further detailing how my campaign would go; basically, as Sergeant Fluffy Town puts it, there can be only one victor and all the rest must be slain in brutal combat. I have no idea where he got his idea from but let me tell you, the idea train has left the station and is running full steam ahead! We began working on our debate strategy and as it stands right now I think it is a winning one. Simply put after the first question I would ambush the enemy with my long sword and chop their head off, then lightning would strike me and I would gain their power. In the end I would be the one on top of the presidential throne. Ugh Cora is calling me, more later, but remember There can be only ONE!

The Idiot Bachelor

I cannot stop…I must not stop…So listen, I just found out about the show the Bachelor. Wow, all I can say is Wow! This guy Pete is one hell of a MAN! He can fly, he has good looks, and he has what seems to be what all ladies want! I was so not expecting to enjoy this as it is more…for the ladies…but I started watching with Cora and Spherx who kept trying to tell me I would hate it. Surprise! I love it! When they got all ridiculous about him spending more time with Hannah, I was all like, look he does what he wants! He is a Pilot! Cora and Spherx kept telling me to shut up, but they can stuff it. Well they left anyway to watch the finale without me, so here is my play by play. The In-laws…straight ballers. Dad is cool and Mom looks lovely in yellow, although black may not be her color. Hannah looks good she was my pick from the get go. Madison got a little too emotional for me so I would choose Hannah, I know you are all with me people. I finish, and what!!! He chose Hannah! Ah shit I was right!!! I go to the internet and see how they are getting along…yeah…well, spoiler alert, they are not…like at all…he chose Kelly…Kelly the same smile in every photo Kelly…ugh…I cannot take anymore drama…time to see what his mentally challenged doctor show is all about…wait, he is smart!!!!

Spherx and The “Job”

Ugh…What a week. Spherx thinks he is gonna get to me with his make the Domain great again thing…He made us all get jobs. Like actual jobs to pay for the things that happen around here. Well fuck him…So I wandered around town put in the hustle to get a stupid job since Spherx would not stop nagging me with it. Nothing was working out, like at all. No one seemingly wanted to hire an “illegal alien”, as they put it; air quotation marks and all. I went back to the Domain empty handed and Spherx AND Cora both gave me these long boring speeches about how I need to earn my keep and it is not fair that THEY pay for everything. Look, I know Spherx does stuff, what, I am not sure, but stuff. Cora on the other hand I never see doing anything, she just shows up with money. I decided to snoop around and find out what she has been up to. First I checked her mail, and then burned it, because you know she is mean. When she left for “work” I wandered into her room and found her computer open with a web page called OnlyFans.com open. Upon scrolling I just saw dong, after dong, after dong. “Wait” I thought “I can get paid for showing my furry gherkin!” I promptly signed up for an account and am adding pictures. I was thinking about trying video, but that will be once I have some fans or requests. I promptly walked over to Spherx and said “Congratulate me! I got a JOB!” and stormed off. I do not want him to ask any questions as well and I want nothing from Cora. Okay time to post some more Dick Droppers. Here in case I forget where it is https://onlyfans.com/idiotchittix

The Smell of Death

There is this funny thing that humans do called Composting…basically you save all of your old leftovers and coffee and then make it moldy and then feed it to plants. Well, I am not sure the limit of that but I ended up buying a whole bunch of Venus Fly Traps a couple weeks ago and have yet to figure out the best way to feed them…So…Bring the power of the smelly rotting leftover food stuff…actually is kind of nice, I save time not having to wash dishes and just leave them out. Yeah my room/the whole place smells terrible, but hey free Fly Trap food. Spherx complained so much that I got annoyed and started storing all my old dishes under his bed…stupid son of a bitch. Mac even got into the idea and started to contribute to the IC Venus Fly Trap Relief Fund, well until the plants got the better of him and started to slowly…and I mean slowly, close on his face…I have been saving the food for today and intend to feed it to my fly traps, who knows maybe it will create a bloodthirsty plant from outer space that craves human flesh and I will end up needing to murder humans in order to sustain it’s daily need for blood. Well that is the dream I guess.

Scroll to top